Starting something new is always scary. In fact unpacking all the anxiety that comes with it can lead to a clustered room no matter where you're standing. Alas, if you never try you'll never know.
But embracing that cliché isn't easy either. Regardless of how long it might take, that first step does feel pretty good. The only step I can confidently say I've taken without even an ounce of hesitation or second guessing was getting married this past December. If I could only model all of my decisions around that one. Sure, it was a leap -- and most of those who talk of love and marriage will say it is just that: a risk/chance. After all, we can only be so educated in our decisions; so precise in our steps. I can't tell you how it will end up or even how the marriage will unfold, but I can promise you that each day I will show up to create, grow, change, and love her because I am lucky enough to do so. Again, if only I applied this to every aspect of my life so confidently.
Because I haven't been the best at doing so, I made some resolutions. While some of my New Year's resolutions were new altogether, there were recycled ones in need of some more love this year as well. Coming in a close second place: a two-way tie/contradiction. On the one hand: MOVE -- start releasing music I've been hanging on to for years, shoot more videos, be more present on social media, cultivate a community of friends and fans whose support may one day lead to sustainability as an artist. On the other hand: SLOW DOWN. Stop sizing up other artists, quit chasing sustainability like it's the promise land, the latest sounds like they'll get me there, the latest social media antics so I can stay relevant. Instead, create art because I love it and see what that does. Create for the simple fact that the creativity was placed in my brain and on my hands in the first place.
Therefore, my top resolution puts both of the above to rest: simply have more faith. More faith in myself. More faith in the God that created and continues to create with and through me. More faith that those around me telling me I am enough means exactly that.
By the way, I've put something into practice that has really helped with the aforementioned. Every time I catch jealousy as it claws at my heart and mind, every time I hear of another's success and feel it clog my creative synapses like plaque to an artery; I tell myself one simple truth:
Their path is not my path.
Meditating on this has proven to be tremendously effective since I implemented it. I am certain this year will be a year of growth; hopefully for me but assuredly for a large number around me. And I would do well to see their growth and achievements as a good thing and not twist it to be debilitating; as the latter has not one time proven helpful.
So here's to a new year, and to tons of growth for us all; may we celebrate in each other's victories, and build one another up in the wake of failures. Those failures suck, but at least we are trying. And trying can lead to success; if nothing else, learning.
ps. if you made it to this point, I suppose it is appropriate to inform you that this is my website and if you click on the LISTEN tab at the top there are two unreleased songs for you.